the least of these..

Funerals suck.
There's really no other way of putting it. Everyone gets to together to "honor the life" of someone
when we're really all thinking "Wow, this guy died and it sucks."
Because you're one of two people. You're either someone who really did love the person who died and will honestly miss them now that they're gone
Or you're there because someone made you come.
For my Uncle Bobby's funeral, I was somewhere in the middle. I met the man a few times and definitely liked him but had no real deep connection to him..

Driving down to Tennessee for the third time this year was really nice. It always is. I love driving. I love eating McDonalds at two in the morning, in the car, watching re-runs of Heroes on DVD on the little screen in the car with big, clunky headphones on my head.
We got there Saturday afternoon and ended up having to stay in this dingy, dirty old motel (because in Tazewell, there's literally no where else to stay, it's a very unpopulated town).
That night I was really kind of upset. Like, here I was, laying in these cigarette-burned sheets in this room that had no windows and smelled of blood and curry (I can only imagine how it came to smell that way..) and I had to go to a funeral the next day, where everyone would just be sad and awkward.
I was reading one of the most amazing books I've ever read (When God Writes Your Love Story) and suddenly I just got really happy. Like, honest-to-God HAPPY. And I thank God for it. I've been trying to hard lately to keep my joy up, to make it a point to be happy every day no matter what.
And when I've got no homework (thanks, senior year blow-off classes!), minimal stress and great friends.. it's not like being happy is all that difficult anyway. I just want to know that when the bad times come, I can still be happy.
And Saturday night, God showed me that I still can.

Sunday. The funeral.
You know, sometimes I get so caught up in the sadness and agony in other countries, I forget that America gets it too. That we're sad, that we hurt, that we lose people we love as well.
I think I get this biased attitude against our country, like, how dare we ever be unhappy? Look at all we have!
Many years ago, my Aunt Inez's husband was shot and killed. In her own home.
And who came around to clean up the mess so she wouldn't have to? My Uncle Bobby.
Who was there for her? Who took care of her? Who's been her best friend and brother the last thirty years of her life?
My Uncle Bobby.
As I sat in the pew and watched my Aunt Inez make her way up to the casket, my heart broke. She needed her husband and another woman help her to get there. The woman was clearly in complete sadness and agony.
Right here in America.
Right here in my family.
And it's a reminder. I must never, ever let myself step over my family to get to my brothers and sisters in other countries.
Because my family and friends right here, right now.. need me.

We left pretty soon, just a few hours after the funeral. Left the dingy little motel room where I found happiness.
Left my Aunt Inez, who I pray is comforted by God.
Left the state of Tennessee, one of my favorite places on earth.
And left my Uncle Bobby. Right where we all should long to be, ushered into the presence of God.

We drove through West Virginia and Ohio for the next two days. Just driving, sight-seeing. West Virginia is full of beautiful mountains, and on those mountains are trees that are changing colors.
I just relaxed. I read, I thought, I talked to my family, I watched. I didn't have to work, I didn't have to go to school, or even do homework. And I feel that so much of my time is taken up by these through-the-motions activities. Where I go just because I have to, for a diploma, for money. Where I go and zone out and disengage and forget about living.
Because I do, sometimes. Forget about living. My life isn't the instant I get a diploma. My life isn't the days I get paid, or my bank account, or even the instance in which I get a car or get married.
My life is all the moments in between. And I need to stop thinking otherwise.

Matthew 25:31-40
31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’