I've moved:

lynette-marie.tumblr.com

It's just more convenient for me.
So if you've been following me here, follow me there.

<3

Hmm...

Between three jobs this week, I have 60 hours at work. That's right-- Family Christian finally gave me a shift. My first in over a month.
Then about 34 hours at Burger Spot and around 22 at the toy store. Needless to say, I'm coming home every night between 6 and 8:30, completely whiped.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the hours. I gotta get my car in the next couple of weeks so the extra money is helpful.
And I LOVE the toy store. I'm paid to play with toys, basically. It's a lot of fun, and the people are great, but after an eight or nine hour shift of just standing, I'm ready to collapse. And somehow, seven hours of sleep in a night during the school year would be considered a good night's sleep, I can't seem to function properly in the summer unless I get at least nine or ten hours of sleep. Pretty pathetic.

But it's just for this week. Next week I should only have about 30 or 40 hours, probably. I wouldve had more but I took most of next weekend off for my birthday, and to go car hunting.
Which, by the way, is both exciting and frustrating. After months of feeling like I'd just NEVER get a car, I feel so ready to get one. And I've saved up a pretty good sum of money, enough so that I definitely won't be buying a clunker. But trying to pick one is so hard! I can't even decide what to eat in restaurants, let alone be able to pick out a car. I've only got untilI start school (August 27) to buy one.

And, speaking of school, the anxiety I had over starting school seems to be slipping away. I'm kind of excited for this next stage of my life. I feel ready to prove myself and mold my life into what I want it to be. Everything seems to be going in such a good direction. With work, with school, with my relationships, everything. And I'm so grateful to God for giving me the wisdom to make good choices and to mold the life He chose for me.
And I'm praying that He will start filling in some of the blanks.
Because there are a lot of them.

As far as updates go..

1. Went to California (and twelve other states) on a 9-day-long roadtrip with my parents to see Jen. It was alright. I saw the Grand Canyon. And Santa Monica beach. And stuff.


2. Had a really great photoshoot with Sara Stanley for the first time in months. We trounced about Belle Isle, playing in the water and the flowers. It was great. I've missed her.



3. Family Christian hasn't put me on the schedule in around 5 weeks. After talking to my manager, I'm not sure they will put me back on. But he wouldn't give me any clear answers. Which probably means he's waiting for me to quit so he doesn't have to fire me. So

4. I found another job. At Genuine Toy Co. in downtown Plymouth. Right across the hall from Burger Spot, actually. Just had my interview yesterday, I'm going in today to fill out some paperwork. I'm excited. :) I'm still not quitting FCS. They're not giving me hours so it's not like it'd be conflicting with my two other jobs anyway. Plus I wanna keep my discount ;)

5. I've gotten all my college stuff sorted out. Just gotta show up for class on August 27. Gotta get my drivers license too.. and a car.. it's all in the workings...

Excerpts from Sex God by Rob Bell

This is why for thousands of years, Christians have found the cross to be so central to life. It speaks to us of God's suffering.
God's pain.
God's broken heart.

If you've ever given your heart to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.

If you've ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels.

The cross is Gods way of saying, "I know what it's like."

Our tendency in the midst of suffering is to turn on God. To get bitter and angry and say "God, You don't know what it's like! You don't understand, You have no idea what I'm going through. You have no clue how much this hurts."

The cross is God taking on flesh and blood and saying, "Me too."

Lord, I could never show You anything as beautiful as You.

I was at church camp this past week. Five days of isolation with God.
It couldn't have come at a better time.
During the week, a lot of kids were set free. Lots of kids made decisions in their hearts to live for God.
And for others, it was simply an emotional experience that was foreign and uncomfortable, and I'm sure they're glad to be back home, where they're free to live as they please and not feel to guilty.
I went to camp with an open heart and prayers that mainly consisted of questions.
And here's what I've learned.

I've learned that to be a Christian, ready to do anything God asks of you, you have to be willing to be unpopular.
Even amongst other Christians.
I'll tell you right now that I've made a few life decisions just in the past months alone and I've had Christian friends persecuting me for it, acting as if I'm strange or becoming a "holy roller".
All I'm doing is answering the call God has on my life, and in that, setting boundaries. It's going to be a long hard road and I know I'm not always going to understand why God wants me to do certain things, but I'm SO done just doing the things that I'm comfortable doing.
Because then I will never really be doing anything.
So I've got to become willing to give up anyone and everything. Because life is not about making friends and experiencing. Life is about giving glory to God.
And I'm not there yet, but I'd like to be in a place where I am able to hear clearly from God, and willing to follow His beck and call.

I don't have a lot figured out. But I've got faith.

Matthew 17:20 says, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

I think I can handle that. Today the message at church was about God's plans for your life & how to really live them out.
Michelle Butler said, "The good thing about God's plans is that they're people-proof." By that, she meant that no matter what they people around us may do or say to us, God can work around it and still work through us. Like Joseph in the Bible. He was sold into slavery by his own family and later imprisoned, but God's will still led Joseph to become ruler over Egypt.

So.. what's stopping you?

I don't know why, but I really upset last night.
I mean, pardon the fact that I'm female and genetically coded to have off-the-wall mood swings..
A lot of stuff just started hitting me last night. Stuff I wasn't prepared to handle, but stuff I was allowing God to give me.
And I don't know. I was just so sad. I couldn't even explain all the reasons why.
Before I fell asleep, I texted my mom, who was at work, and told her to pray for me.

I was woken up this morning by a hug from my mom, and a couple kisses.
We talked for a bit, and she told me some really encouraging things.
Then she went to bed to sleep off a long shift, and I noticed a card on my dresser.
It was from my mom, and it had an amazing poem inside of it, and she ha written me a little note as well.

My mom may be absolutely crazy
But she sure can be a sweet lady. <3

Hey, God?

What do You want from me?
Because alone, I constantly tear open the wounds I've been licking for years
And I walk around in circles, trying to look busy.


I need You.